the inexorable enshitification of the internet

everything’s fucked.


everything’s still fucked, but here’s some snails.

i get it. millennials are such an easy fucking mark. and we’re saving all this money now that we can’t afford luxury items like houses or children or hamsters or cars or hope for the future.

but hey! detective pikachu didn’t suck too much. so there’s that.

better music
better drugs
better sex
better clothes
better architecture

no internet

i was born too late.


i don’t pay rent

now purchase my ebook

pseudoliterary is
a graphically violent
pornographic mindfuck
a 'ur well fit', written, folded
passed, sent with a sense of
wild teenage abandon
from one disturbed mind
to the rest of you frankly
dangerous people

now pass it on

what is this, a crossover episode?

[here’s] a full page of extremely nsfw hoover-based humour.

this, and this

that is

ignorance is bliss.

but only one of us is going to be badly savaged by rabid badgers on the way out.

yet more proof (if it were needed) that there is no unsuitable context for quoting jurassic park.

note that being temporarily separated from your supply (by a few thousand miles) is not the same as being out of weed.

being out is an existential threat.

it’s the night and day difference between knowing it’s there, and not knowing.
between being out of snacks and actual food insecurity.
between your favourite socks being in the laundry and having to walk the streets naked.

it’s there. waiting.

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream; that’s my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor… and surviving.

Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now (1979)