a partial list of everything

probably not illegal


pseudoliterary is an attempt to do something worth doing.
or maybe to just do something.

pseudo means sort of, but not quite.
it means apparently, but not actually.

and if it’s not quite literature,
if it’s not actually literary…

fuck it

it’s pseudoliterature.

i don’t intend to explain everything.
i don’t really intend to explain anything.

except this,
i’m going to spell this one out.


here is a partial list of everything:

love, life, death, art, architecture, writing, drawing, photography, sex, drugs, stickers, books, films, music, travel, nature, academia, alternative living, skateboarding, comics, depression, suicide, pornography.

plus other stuff.

here’s my story.

i was conceived in a laboratory. i was born. jurassic park was released in cinemas. i got my first pokémon card (metapod). i’ve still got it. time passed.

i smoked my first joint the same year i lost my virginity.
some fucking year.

more time passed. i went to university, i got a degree. i got a job. i got a fucking phd.

and now this is my job, sort of
but it was never really about being an artist

being an artist is just an excuse to smoke weed professionally
and so far it’s working.

now you might have heard
that’s there’s a time and a place for getting high

that’s correct…

… any time, any place.

while browsing this website for example.

while writing it.

and yes, i would rather drink london tapwater than the thames, or even a random puddle (depending on the puddle). the worst thing isn’t actually the taste, but the temperature. like lukewarm bathwater. and i know, i know, been through seven people bla bla bla. sure, london’s tap water has passed through the internal and external plumbing of a whole bunch of people, but since most of the water we drink is older than the actual earth, it’s probably passed through a whole bunch of dinosaurs too, so fuck it.

oh, and i don’t live in london. not any more. so, no, i’m not that guy.

or girl.

here’s a pseudo-educational comic

homophones, near homophones, and a subtle anti-capitalist message.

magnet | magnate

have i mentioned that everything on this website is for sale?
cancel your fucking grammarly subscription already.

feed my habit.